Does anyone regret having third child

I keep thinking I would regret it in the future if I don't have another, it didn't occur to me I could regret it if I did have another! Like a previous poster said, I am blessed with 2 very healthy kiddies, and I worry I am chancing my luck having another. I feel guilty for wanting more, I am so grateful for my gorgeous ds and dd, and wish I could just leave it at that!

In answer to Nic48csj. It's like you read my mind! I do change my mind constantly and I know that is not a good basis for trying for another. But at the same time should we just make the decision and go for it otherwise we will never reach a decision. And the guilt thing is there too - my boy are lovely and so far we've had a relatively good time of it! My parents and in-laws are also brilliant at helping out and I wonder if we have another that we couldn't ask for as much help and therefore will hav an even harder time.

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In answer to Ela51vid. I totally get you. I love my children with all my heart, I have two girls aged seven and five, they are my everything. However my youngest has asd and whilst she is gentle and has a lovely nature I could never go through it again as my heart is repeatedly broken by watching how different she is to her peers.

Also she takes up so much of my time that it isnt fair on my eldest and i am constantly feeling guilty trying to mske it up to her for the lack of attention. Also I have heard that if you have one child with asd then the chances of any subsequent children having it increases. It wouldnt be fair on our family as a whole. OP your situation is different though and if I were in your position I would have definitely liked a third.

A year ago, not so much. I have 4, but I didn't feel the family was complete. I do now - without a doubt. Having 3 or 4 children is amazing, but if you don't like the idea of chaos, disorder and being spread thin at times, a third isn't for you - at least right now.

It really doesn't matter if anyone else has regretted it, your situation will be dependent on how you and your family manage it. I personally have never regretted but at times of extreme sleep deprivation and stress I had moments of "what was I thinking? If you're not ready for a bit of extra chaos then maybe keep thinking about it. I'm contemplating having a fourth so it can't be that bad x. I have three and it's crazy hectic, but I have never regretted it. We are an embarrassment in restaurants and shopping carts aren't big enough, but I wouldn't change a thing.

I have two boys and a baby girl. Her brothers adore her and it's so cool to see them take care of her. I can't imagine life any other way. I went from 1 to 3. My second pregnancy was twins so I didn't have a choice in the matter. As well as I have never experienced 2 kids. I will say 3 is crazy, hectic, I lose my patience more easily I don't regret my twins, they fit into my family perfectly.

But it isn't easy anymore. I have 4. For us, until the fourth, it just felt like something was missing. Now we feel complete. I will say the first year of adding any children to a family are insane. My house is a disaster. I am very short on sleep. My house is always very loud and I'm broke from paying for all the needs of 4 kids plus part time day care.

Stopping at two would have made life very easy but I like chaos. I like loud. I love being a mommy. Once you get to three, though, you're outnumbered in every way.

Do not underestimate the power of a numbers advantage, or even parity. What if I regret not having a third? Other people I know are having third children and I worry I'm missing out on something. They say you'll never regret having a baby but you will regret not having a baby. If this is your only reason to consider having another kid, or the reason behind you feeling like you want another kid, that is not a good reason to have another kid.

Don't worry about the "What Ifs" or what anyone else is doing. What do you want? Honestly, the FOMO hit me hard. I'd hear someone was going for a third and a part of me would be like, "OMG! You can have another baby, sure, but then you'll have another kid for at least the next 18 years.

That's the thing about babies: you have to keep taking care of them. And depending on how far apart you space your children, that could mean literal decades of raising children. If that doesn't sound like something you're up for then it's OK to call it a day after two. I always imagined myself having a big ish family because I was a child in a big ish family. But as I built my own family, I realized that what I was doing with the family I had was great, and as a result of that greatness I wanted to keep it up.

Was it different from what I know and what I expected? Sure, but it's right and it's OK that what turned out to be perfect for me wasn't what I initially planned.

Two was and is perfect for us. When her first son was nine months old, she accidentally became pregnant again. Orna Donath, an Israeli sociologist and the author of Regretting Motherhood: A Study , confirms this second route to regret. In her research, she interviewed 10 fathers who regretted becoming parents; eight of them reported not wanting children but having them to appease their partner. Piotrowski concluded that choosing parenthood is a predictor of adapting to it; he noticed apparently higher rates of regret in Poland relative to Germany, which tracked with considerably lower access to abortion in the former.

Research from UC San Francisco supports this idea: In one study , mothers with a child born as a consequence of abortion denial were more likely to report having difficulty bonding , as well as feeling trapped or resentful, than mothers who had an abortion and subsequently had a child. Kara Hoppe has seen this reflected in her adult patients.

Read: What it means to be a bad mom. But perhaps fewer parents would be regretful if society didn't make parenting so hard. Decreasing parental regret could be possible, with a host of structural shifts: access to reproductive choice as well as individualized treatment for parental burnout and change to policies regarding child care , family leave , work schedules , and the gender pay and promotion gaps. People might also feel less shame in their regret—and more motivation to address it—if society held more realistic expectations of parents.